Everyone has little bars that they set, criterion for the person that they see as "The One", " The Perfect Man ( or woman), Prince Charming. You get the idea. And we dream about how perfect everything will be if we find the perfect person. It's not hard. And it's not humanly impossible. But then there is also the tiny responsibility you have towards yourself and that's being realistic. You'd want a guy to be handsome, funny, smart AND wash his hands after using the dunny. But you may not get all four! Plus the more you you want, the more confused the male species gets. But it's not that easy boys! Our lists of 'perfection' may seem a tad intimidating and outrageous but that's the fun bit for us eh? ;)
With that being said, let me be a girl and tell you that I do have my own list of what I want in a guy. A bunch of deal breakers you could say. They're simple and reasonable and awesome. And honestly, if you want it bad enough, ( no I don't mean the guy, I mean the want of a Prince Charming), it'll happen one day and the scene will be "Enter Handsomeface" with you being swept off your feet. Or falling flat on your face. Either way you will be very aware when it happens. An incident with me involved Coke falling all over the two of us so trust me, not everything is roses, bright smiles and heart-pupiled eyes.
To the list!
The Habit Criteria:
1. No smokes or alcohol. BIG no no for me.I don't want to have to deal with a drunk nutjob or someone who will end up with a coronary. Plus smoking is just pointless. But I'm going to be a bit of a prick here and say I don't mind if he drinks wine because I love wine. If he's a teetotaler that owns a vineyard, WIN.
I'll know for a fact that he doesn't rely on ciggies and a mug to have a good time or drown all his worries/sorrows.
2. Preferably Vegetarian. I'm a hardcore grass-eater. I admire a man that can do without red meat and the flesh of other creatures. Also, who doesn't make attempts to get me to eat meat because I won't. and If you try I will hunt you down and use tongs in appropriate places. I'm not against people that eat meat but then again, I'm under the belief that people sometimes make themselves believe that it tastes good. If you've seen the videos I have, you'd probably want to give up all worldly pleasures and resort to life in the Himalayas living on "Universe Juice" as Po calls it in Kung Fu Panda.
3. A Picky Eater. Given how passionate I am about food, I'd just get annoyed with someone who has a routine of what they eat. Or that restaurant they go to every Sunday. I like trying out new cuisines, not following recipes whipping up my own platters of good food. I love cooking. He should be able to cook to! And not expect me to do all the stirring and frying and serving. I'd end up just dumping it in the fridge or on your head. And head out for some Cannelloni.
4. Health conscious . I don't like these stupid notions of you deal with a sickness as it comes. Eat whatever you feel like because eventually it all comes down to "better out than in". Health is important to him and he maintains a good balance between greens and grease. =P He loves to exercise but not over do it and end up with a body that looks like it's been carved. Overly muscled men are a tad bit of a turn off. Especially when the muscles move by themselves. I find that creepier than the stuff I see on Supernatural and Spartacus.
5. Slobby and Sloppy. That's a doubly whammy. And an even bigger HELL NO. A few things here and there are acceptable(because that's how my place is=P) but not like a tornado just hit the house.
6. You don't look at other girls in a thoroughly analytic and detailed manner. Dodgy is fine, Perverted acceptable ( mainly with me), but downright disgusting and MCP. I will not accept.
7. Value Money. I don't like cash being thrown around. Especially if it's not yours TO throw around. I am a spender but only when I really do need something or when I see something that I deserve to eat,have,go to.
The Personality Criteria:
I'm not too stringent on this one because honestly, "to each his own". But I do have my pet peeves and turn ons and I will insist on certain characteristics when it comes to "THE ONE". Is it just me or do you also hear trumpets and drums playing in your head when you say "THE ONE"? I think it might just be me.
8. FUN. He has to be buttloads of fun! Humourous, witty, and boisterous! Sometimes I see guys with this look on their like they just arose from a grave or they have something uncomfortable stuck up somewhere unpleasant. Mr Right as we shall call him for now, has to have the most gorgeous smile, laugh as much as I do at the stupidest things, possibly even louder than me.
9. Honest. I don't lie nor do I like when I'm lied to. And I find out pretty quick if someone's lying. I haz my laaaie radar. Along with honesty, that implies trustworthy. I don't need to elaborate on that one. We all want someone who we can absolutely trust without thinking twice besides ourselves.
10. Respectful. Of me. Of his family, especially his parents. Of people around him, known and unknown. None of this gossip business. Healthy gossip is fine but not to the extent of it becoming an everyday topic of conversation. I find people who gossip a lot just downright stupid and immature.
11. Enthusiastic and Adventurous. He has to have some drive. and by drive I don't mean the sexual kind, but the kind where he jumps into things with a little less thought and has an open mind about everything. He has goals, dreams, big dreams like me, is goal oriented and passionate and is no giver-upper. He should have an approach to life that literally screams, " COME AT ME BEECHES, LET'S DO THIS SHIZZ". No none of those are actual or legit words but by now you must have realized I tend to add in a lot of words that don't make it to the Britannica.
12. Pretentious. I'm rather obnoxious and narcissistic at times and I'd love for my man to match up to that little trait. Trump it even. Call it a bout of excessive self confidence. But at the same time, when necessary, he should have the heart of a monk. Not let things get to his head. Down-to-earth.
13. An Engaging Conversationalist. I talk. A LOT. And no, A LOT wouldn't even begin to cover it. I can talk for hours about nothing in particular to anyone willing to listen. But most of the time, the 'anyones' are people who completely understand my gift of gab and return the favour in kind. I don't want it to be all " Oh You're amazing, hey what's up? I missed you. I missed you too. Let's go braid our hair and eat take out". Proper conversations. Music, food, movies, sport, politics, the works! I'd love that!
14. Yes I said braid OUR hair. I love guys with long hair. THOR. SPARTACUS. yummy yummy. It truly shows they have the patience to look after their hair follicles. I have long hair myself so it'd be fun to mess around with people, wear disguises and trick people into thinking we're each other.
15. When I say long hair, that implies possibly one of the most important traits I want in a man. Any guesses?
METALHEAD. Hardcore, long-haired, headbanging stud muffin. And I don't mean just the possession of long hair and band tee shirts. But a thorough understanding of the genre, of metal music and the brotherhood!
He also has to appreciate other kinds of music too and not be all " EW, you listen to that? It's just noise. Or it's gay".
NONE OF THIS IT'S GAY BUSINESS. GAY ORIGINALLY MEANS HAPPY. AND NOW IT MEANS HOMOSEXUALS. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
16. Needless today, he must have a certain intellectual capacity. Would an IQ over 120 be asking for too much? Aware of various things and not just rooted to one particular interest. However, he must be focused on his field.
17. NOT stereotypical. Cannot stand that.
18. Friendly and outgoing. Not a social butterfly of sorts. But has and makes friends wherever he goes. A people's person you might say.
19. Patient, Tolerant and Understanding of me and of things and people in general. I don't like people who yell in public, at waiters, at family. It's just not done.
20. Charming. It's amazing how some men just lack that certain charm and most of the time, finesse. And all you can do is just drop jaw and wonder how such a specimen was created.
21. Someone who isn't insanely and just frighteningly religious. But not an Atheist either. Believer of something, whatever something that may be.
22. A Sports Fan. Preferably Football, Formula 1 and Basketball. A Manchester United/Real Madrid/Munich fan. Yes I know, very specific but I do have my necessities! He should be interested in playing and watching. Take me to LOTS of live games
23. An animal freak like me. Someone who connects with wildlife, cares about their existence and survival. Doesn't mind having a million pets running around the house. Including kids. I intend to adopt seven.
24. Willing to lose sanity. I can be infuriating, a first class pain in the arse and just plain hooliganish. But I will never be boring. Far from it.
The Physical-ness Criteria:
24. Tall. I like my men tall. Who doesn't? He doesn't have to be a giant of sorts but 6 foot isn't ambitious ;)
25. Fit and a good physique. He's allowed a few wobbly bits here and there but someone who takes care enough to maintain themselves and not end up with a popcorn table for a belly.
26. I mentioned long hair did I not?
27. Not too hairy. I love bears but only the animal kind. Grooming must be a part of his vocabulary.
28. Eyes. I love eyes. Blue or green. *hearts*
29. Can smile the wits out of me. Teeth or no teeth I love when people smile at me.
30. Has a keen sense for fashion. He doesn't have to be a Jimmy Choo or Mario Prada. That's just pushing it. I'm talking band tees, mismatched socks, shorts. BUT, also,
To be updated. Spartacus and Supernatural await. ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment