#1 Life isn't all parties, bikinis and swimming in cash, the way you think it is when you're five. You have to struggle, you have to work, you have to earn respect. NOTHING ever comes to you unless you make a tireless effort.
#2 Your social life WILL take a drastic turn. You will not have the same friends you did when you were prancing about in school. You change, other people change, there's just a whole lot of changes being dished out and that eventually leads to you having either too many friends, no friends or just a general confusion as to who is and who isn't. Just be prepared to lose a lot of people in your life, it's bound to happen. But that's what your story's all about. People come, people go, everything, as cliche as this may sound, happens for a reason.
#3 You'll actually find that your parents are a lot cooler than you seemed to have thought when you were in your rowdy and rebellious teenage years. You'll see that in the end, they're the ones who will support you no matter what you do or say, and that there is no way in hell you can be rid of them because they are the only people in the world who will love you unconditionally, the whole twisted package that makes you who you are. Spend time with them, tell them you love them, take them on a nice, exotic holiday. They deserve it. Because trust me, one day they won't be there and you'll notice. It all counts in the end.
#4 Everything is 'cool'. The double decker bus, the free flame shots on ladies night, that hot guy wearing leather pants and a hoop earring. Drugs aren't cool. Booze isn't cool. One night stands are everything but cool. These are things you will regret and which only pull you back down instead of pushing you forward. DON'T DO IT. Don't conform and don't follow the crowd. It's JUST not worth it darlings.
#5 It's essential to keep your expectations to a minimum. The higher your expectations, the more room you give to potential chronic depression and unnecessary fat despositting food. But that doesn't mean you can't have none at all. That's the difference between expectations and standards. Keep your level of standards as high as you possibly can. That way, the focus is more on you, how YOU should be and not how messed up everyone around you is.
#6 Always keep gummy bears, a pair of tweezers, your phone, waffle cones, strawberry cheesecake ice cream, hot sauce, drumsticks, a hair tie, garlic and chilly powder and crap loads of cocoa items in close vicinity. You never know when you need these. Oh and something to ward off B.O.
#7 You are your Best Friend and your Worst Enemy. Don't let ANYONE take up those two positions. They are meant to be filled in by you. No one can make you feel happier than yourself and no one can make you feel like top-class shit than you. It strikes the perfect balance and it's meant to be that way for a reason. I learnt this towards the last stages of my teenage-hood and life becomes so much easier when you learn to accept that it's really YOU you have around your whole life.
#8 You may give advice, you may be asked for it. But no one will listen. People make their own choices. Don't expect people to listen to what you have to say. And it's fine. That's just how it works. Also, never EVER give advice when you're not asked for it. Nobody asked you for your opinion, literally. If someone wants you to listen, do just that. My ears have grown bigger because of it, I reckon. More piercings?
#9 You will trust people and give your heart to a few. But they will probably take it, do the rumba on it, pick it back up and hand it to you in a tiny little foul smelling potato sack. And then your trust will eventually go to people who REALLY deserve it. It's all just a learning process. Don't fret. Just use your common sense. Something we tend to use not so very 'commonly'.
#10 You will suffer some serious pain. I'm not talking about cramps ladies. But I am talking about heartbreak. Which I'm DEFINITE is worse than labor pains. You will date someone who you think is 'The One'. You will get dumped. You will dump. ( Avoid laxatives ). You'll feel like the entire Milky Way just decided to come crashing down on your face. It happens. But give yourself time to heal. Cry. Be upset. Act like a lunatic. Eat for an entire third world country. And then? Move on. The time will come when you shall get swept off your feet. But just make sure you're grounded in the head, level headed I think is what they call it. The right person will come along but don't go looking for him/her. But there will always be memories of your first love, don't let that bother you.
#11 Trust your instincts.
Trust yourself before anyone else. Listen to those voices in your head. They are saying the right thing! Whatever you feel the first time, is how you really feel. Whatever you take time to feel, isn't. As long as you know that, everything will go fine. There will be times when you completely ignore your thoughts and go against your convictions. You're an idiot to do that but it's okai because you live and you learn. No one is more right about your life than you are.
#12 There will be people who hate you. There will be those that absolutely dislike you but will play 'suck up' in front of you. A category of " I'm-going-to-take-his/her-case-so-much-that-she/he-might-just-disintegrate-and-fall-at-my-feet-and-surrender" retards will come into your life and it's essential that you learn how to deal with these low lives. Be nice to everyone, but when it's necessary, bite back! You don't need to hang on to anyone who even remotely gives off a negative vibe. No matter what the relationship is, the history you have, the favours you've taken/given. That's all behind you. These people are time bombs in a nice package that can sweet talk you. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. But know that it's perfectly fine to have dem poo poo headzz.
#13 People will make fun of you and make attempts to insult you. You can respond in five ways:
- " Your face."
- " Whatever makes you happy."
- " I know you are but what am I?" ( constant repeat )
- AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Gawd, you're so witty. I like llamas or *insert weird creature/object here*
- Or my three ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE things to do, one which works rather well. It's a tie.
Do the Raspberry.
OR...Go 'Whale' on them.
Works wonders my lovelies. Immaturity FTW!
#14 Keep your reputation as clean as the roads of Singapore. Don't gossip like a snob, don't hate on someone behind their backs to their ex's or best friends, don't stuff your bra with tissues because PEOPLE WILL FIND OUT. Be civil to everyone, even someone who's head you want to stuff down a loo.
#15 Be grateful for whatever it is that you have at that moment. It's a tough trait to develop because whining seems So much easier. But it's just annoying to people around you. Man up, grow a pair and be happy with your life, because atleast you have one! Don't let people make you believe otherwise. Pig's arse to the lot of them.
#16 They're not kidding when they say Karma bites like a nasty. It's true. What you give, so you will recieve, EVENTUALLY. Don't be hatin'. Not worth it. Stick to your own life, and don't trip on people too much because it'll all just come crashing down on you in the end.
#17 Be brave. To own up to your mistakes, to admit your flaws, to be honest, to say 'I love you' even when you won't hear it back, to wear that little black dress even with wobbly bits. You will get nowhere if you cower in the shadow of your curtains all day long. Be brave to face change, because it hits you when you least expect it. Be brave enough to make a change. But don't ever try to change someone else. That's their business, NOT yours. Be brave to face ANYONE head on!
I need daggers. Know where I could buy some?
#18 Don't give up on yourself. If you do, there is no one else who can help you. Make sure you wake up every morning and think 'SURVIVAL' because that's what I do. Confidence is Key. Belief is the Door. Blimey I just came up with that. A Lady Prat original mind you. I tend to bombard my head with these at certain points of time.
#19 There's a very very big difference between loving someone and being In Love. Make sure you know what that difference is before you end up all alone on a bench feeding ducks in a park and listening to James Blunt to make yourself feel better. But also, when you are in love, DON'T END UP LIKE THIS
#20 It's not all bad. In fact, life is just starting. Embrace your future, headbang haters out of the way, love unconditionally and eat Cannelloni with a cup of strong black coffee and fudge cake. It's my solution to everything.
In truth, I've actually learnt a lot more, but if I add more the point of the title kind of goes away don't you think? So keep a lookout for my next post: 20 MORE things I've learnt being 20. Just don't go all mathematical on me and add the two because then.. yeah, you get the point.
Prat love! Now go eat crackers and watch The Discovery Channel.
Tesseract's new single "Singularity" has aired for the first time on BBC Radio 1's Rock show and today the band shared the radio edit version of the song which is available for streaming on the Soundcloud player below. The song is taken from their new album Altered State.
