Attachment. It's human nature. It's also a pain in the ass. But then again, it's normal. It happens to all of us at some point and when things suddenly blow up in your face, you're just all "What in the name of a monkey's uncle just went down?". We expect our best friends to call us all the time, we expect our boyfriends/girlfriends to shower us with constant undying love and to give it to no one else, we always want our mothers pampering us or our Dad's telling us how proud they are of their child prodigies. This is where, I have learnt time and again, and tried to share with people equally frequently, LIFE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. Honestly, it'll just lead to a lot of Ben and Jerry tubs and quite a turnover for tissue companies. Or you'll just come under the category of an epic sod.
Personally, I get attached to someone I think I can trust, immediately. I take a lot of time trusting people but once that happens, I'm like a baby koala. Not in the weird, creepy, stalkerish way, but more in an I luuuuuv you way. And even though at times, it's been nice to feel attachment towards someone, it really doesn't always lead to happiness in the end. Ironically, it leads to the exact opposite. Someone very close to me, a mentor if I may, told me, " Attachment causes unhappiness, detachment leads to peace of mind." And it is so true. We're always under the impression that if we have people to hang on to, people we can 'trust', we're fine. Which I won't completely disagree with. But you will never be 100 % fine until you ensure that that's because it's from you and not because you have people you're attached to and feeling safe with.
I call this particular trait of human nature the Cling On Wrap Syndrome. Basically, it's when one cannot help oneself from being a clingy little sod and attaches oneself to an even more pitiful individual due to an excessive amount of apparent love or just a sheer bout of insanity or insecurity. You tend to start acting like Cling On. You tend to get stuck to someone until you are ripped off, and I don't mean this financially.
To be honest, I was one of those people. I wouldn't go right to the extent of coming under the 'Cling-On' category but I did put my trust in people easily. I felt that everyone does have their rights to being flawed at times and it is necessary to overlook that. You can NOT change a person, nor would they want your opinion. By nature, I'm friendly, I mingle well with guy or girl, old or infant, mature or I-have-the-maturity-of-a-paper-clip. I'll talk to anyone. If I got along really well with someone, I wouldn't mind opening up immediately about how I feel this inexplainable fascination for leprechauns and cheesecake, or how I don't consider myself a girl, or just any old thing that happens to float around in my pretty little head.
“The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.”
~Epictetus
Read that quote. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I have. I read it everyday and to be honest, I still do find it a little difficult sometimes to implement, but I know the tricks of the trade now. And that's what this post is all about. How not to be attached. Why it's not necessarily always a good thing. I write this from experience, from learning based on what I've seen and heard, based on the countless mistakes that have knocked me down, made me fall smack bang on my face but pushed e to get right back up and bulldoze my way through.
What's most important to rid yourself of this little imp of a trait, is to acknowledge and accept that you are in fact attached. It could be to your friend, your family, that bulletin board with all your bus tickets and concert stubs and weirdly cut out photos of you and your mates proving the extent of your insanity, to your favourite t-shirt, or just to anything that is 'external'. That isn't a part of you literally. When you feel attached, it almost always results in negative feelings such as anger, sadness, jealousy, insecurity, even fear. It's okai. It happens to everyone. I'm 20. Only 20. But I've been through this about a 25891028973,000000000 times. I exaggerate not oh young ones. Arite, maybe just a little. But a lot. I've experienced attachment way more than I can remember. And each time you know what I'd do? I'd tell myself to avoid all the things that do lead me to get attached and end up doing ONLY those things. Funny how the human mind works.
It took me a while to decide about whether to write this or not and I decided, there are so many other people out there who I know go through the same thing I do. And I thought that I must share. I don't know who I' sharing it with but I'm hoping that it reaches out to people and helps in some way.
My attachment has led me to some not so great times. Don't worry, I'm not the swallow-pills, slit-my-wrists or cut-myself-off-from-the-cruel-world type of person when I'm sad. I'm just that. Sad. I've lost people I considered best friends, I've lost pets, who were more than just pets to me, they were my family, and trust me losing family? Is hard. I've lost crap loads of money over the years, I've lost faith at times, I've lost the hope and happiness that I always live my life on, I've lost love. And every time I found it easy to blame someone or something else. Or sometimes I wouldn't blame anyone at all and come to the conclusion that y life just stinks more than everyone else's. But it's taken me years to realize that every time, I had only myself to blame. And why? Forget making mistakes, forget doing stupid things, it's because every single one of those times, I was attached. I mentioned money? Money seems like a silly thing to be attached to. But I really do value money, I can't just see it being pissed away. And I have a knack for being rather absent-minded. So when I've lost cash, I've felt like it's almost an apocalyptic event, especially money that I've earned.
Bottom line, whatever attachment it is that we have to an object, a person, a memory, anything, it does us more harm than we're ready to accept. This is something that's engraved in my brain now, and I'm happy I learnt this earlier than later. As annoying as this is, even simple things such as caring, adoration etc, are sure signs of emotional attachment. Don't get me wrong, we're sentient beings. It's natural. But sometimes we don't know where to draw the line. I just pictured lining up M&M's whenever I meet someone new. I'm not quite sure why. Anyhoo, yeah so attachment sucks. Just saying.
Personally, I get attached to someone I think I can trust, immediately. I take a lot of time trusting people but once that happens, I'm like a baby koala. Not in the weird, creepy, stalkerish way, but more in an I luuuuuv you way. And even though at times, it's been nice to feel attachment towards someone, it really doesn't always lead to happiness in the end. Ironically, it leads to the exact opposite. Someone very close to me, a mentor if I may, told me, " Attachment causes unhappiness, detachment leads to peace of mind." And it is so true. We're always under the impression that if we have people to hang on to, people we can 'trust', we're fine. Which I won't completely disagree with. But you will never be 100 % fine until you ensure that that's because it's from you and not because you have people you're attached to and feeling safe with.
I call this particular trait of human nature the Cling On Wrap Syndrome. Basically, it's when one cannot help oneself from being a clingy little sod and attaches oneself to an even more pitiful individual due to an excessive amount of apparent love or just a sheer bout of insanity or insecurity. You tend to start acting like Cling On. You tend to get stuck to someone until you are ripped off, and I don't mean this financially.
To be honest, I was one of those people. I wouldn't go right to the extent of coming under the 'Cling-On' category but I did put my trust in people easily. I felt that everyone does have their rights to being flawed at times and it is necessary to overlook that. You can NOT change a person, nor would they want your opinion. By nature, I'm friendly, I mingle well with guy or girl, old or infant, mature or I-have-the-maturity-of-a-paper-clip. I'll talk to anyone. If I got along really well with someone, I wouldn't mind opening up immediately about how I feel this inexplainable fascination for leprechauns and cheesecake, or how I don't consider myself a girl, or just any old thing that happens to float around in my pretty little head.
“The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.”
~Epictetus
Read that quote. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I have. I read it everyday and to be honest, I still do find it a little difficult sometimes to implement, but I know the tricks of the trade now. And that's what this post is all about. How not to be attached. Why it's not necessarily always a good thing. I write this from experience, from learning based on what I've seen and heard, based on the countless mistakes that have knocked me down, made me fall smack bang on my face but pushed e to get right back up and bulldoze my way through.
What's most important to rid yourself of this little imp of a trait, is to acknowledge and accept that you are in fact attached. It could be to your friend, your family, that bulletin board with all your bus tickets and concert stubs and weirdly cut out photos of you and your mates proving the extent of your insanity, to your favourite t-shirt, or just to anything that is 'external'. That isn't a part of you literally. When you feel attached, it almost always results in negative feelings such as anger, sadness, jealousy, insecurity, even fear. It's okai. It happens to everyone. I'm 20. Only 20. But I've been through this about a 25891028973,000000000 times. I exaggerate not oh young ones. Arite, maybe just a little. But a lot. I've experienced attachment way more than I can remember. And each time you know what I'd do? I'd tell myself to avoid all the things that do lead me to get attached and end up doing ONLY those things. Funny how the human mind works.
It took me a while to decide about whether to write this or not and I decided, there are so many other people out there who I know go through the same thing I do. And I thought that I must share. I don't know who I' sharing it with but I'm hoping that it reaches out to people and helps in some way.
My attachment has led me to some not so great times. Don't worry, I'm not the swallow-pills, slit-my-wrists or cut-myself-off-from-the-cruel-world type of person when I'm sad. I'm just that. Sad. I've lost people I considered best friends, I've lost pets, who were more than just pets to me, they were my family, and trust me losing family? Is hard. I've lost crap loads of money over the years, I've lost faith at times, I've lost the hope and happiness that I always live my life on, I've lost love. And every time I found it easy to blame someone or something else. Or sometimes I wouldn't blame anyone at all and come to the conclusion that y life just stinks more than everyone else's. But it's taken me years to realize that every time, I had only myself to blame. And why? Forget making mistakes, forget doing stupid things, it's because every single one of those times, I was attached. I mentioned money? Money seems like a silly thing to be attached to. But I really do value money, I can't just see it being pissed away. And I have a knack for being rather absent-minded. So when I've lost cash, I've felt like it's almost an apocalyptic event, especially money that I've earned.
Bottom line, whatever attachment it is that we have to an object, a person, a memory, anything, it does us more harm than we're ready to accept. This is something that's engraved in my brain now, and I'm happy I learnt this earlier than later. As annoying as this is, even simple things such as caring, adoration etc, are sure signs of emotional attachment. Don't get me wrong, we're sentient beings. It's natural. But sometimes we don't know where to draw the line. I just pictured lining up M&M's whenever I meet someone new. I'm not quite sure why. Anyhoo, yeah so attachment sucks. Just saying.
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