I was a little bit on the not-too-well side last week. My new job, which I shall be writing about soon because it's rather interesting, has been keeping me on my feet. From work at the end of the week it's usually straight to gigs. Sunday is when I crawl into my blanket and disappear, lost in an abyss of sleep and recurring dreams. As is common when you see someone who isn't in the 'pink of health' as they say, I was told a number of times to consume little demonic pellets that supposedly are powerful enough to fight the demonic little shits in your body that cause you to have whatever it is that you are down with. Let me get straight to it.
I DO NOT APPRECIATE THE CONCEPT OF MEDICATION. It does not help me in the least. I've seen it, my family has seen it. Yet people don't believe me when I say they do nothing to help me when my health is on the offside. It's funny because my body just does not react to medications. But ten thousand gallons of water, a few bars of cocoa and a long run and hey! I'm back in action. Weird? I belive so. But welcome to my world children, where the Weird dominates and the Eccentric rule.
I was about 8 when I had to take my first meds. Atleast that's as far back as I can remember. I was at my gran's place when I fell pretty sick. She instantly brought out an entire pharmacy and placed it before me. Luckily I only had to take two but even that I wasn't too keen on. This is something I tell people when asked what is it that I'm scared of: It's swallowing medication. That is my fear. Not spiders, not the dark, not heights, not spoons. Medicines. I DO NOT LIKE THEM. She attempted to make me swallow two of them, which took me about 15 minutes because I kept drinking water in preparation to swallow the little buggers but eventually my fear got the better of me and along with the medication came out lunch.
It's been 13 years since that little ordeal and even though I have conquered that fear, considering I take supplements everyday, I still don't like medication. And haven't taken any in the past few years. Unless I REALLY have to. Which has been only a couple of times. I haven't been to a doctor in years as well. Many people tell me that that isn't a good thing because I need to be 'aware' of how my body is. Which just leads me to believe how much more stupid humanity gets everyday because, I would be more aware of MY own body than someone who's actually PAID to BE AWARE and to generously write out lengthy prescriptions subsequently making pharmaceutical companies bask in the glory of wealth and you to gradually lose your mind and what's in your wallet.
I know it's a strong point of you but hey, I'm Aquarian. That's how we roll. What do I do if I fall sick though you may ask?
1. Exercise. Vigourous exercise. It is my belief that you need to sweat out whatever's inhabiting your body and get it out of your system.
2. Music. Calms your mind, your body and keeps you on the positive side of things even on your sicket, most disgusting day.
3. Eat like a starved little street urchin. I eat. ALOT when I'm not well. I had four dinners last week in a period of 3 hours. Excessive consumption of cocoa is also advised by me. When I have the flu, I eat cartons of ice cream. Fight fire with fire I always say. Eventually it'll explode the shit out of the place leading to an abyss of nothingness.
4. Watch stand-up. I remember my mum telling me about this one guy who had Cancer. Like stage three cancer. He spent all his time watching everything that was funny in the hospital and BAM. Remission! To this day I keep that in mind, sick, not sick. At the end of the day, you need to be happy and what better way to do that then watch videos of Dylan Moran and Danny Bhoy and people leaping off of trampolines falling flat on their schnozes.
Someone told me once that I was a first class hypocrite because I have a thing against medicines but I take supplements. How are they different. Really. Human stupidity levels radar going BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Supplements, especially the ones I take are organic and are solely consumed to make up for the nutrition that is lost out when you don't get enough from the food you eat. It's to keep your cells healthy, rejuvenated and to keep your immune system the boss of it all. Smell medication you pick up from the dentist. Go on. I ask you. You will most certainly lose the will to smell after you have smelled some of them. Smelt? Smelled? Friggin english.
I want to eat Malteasers in the rain now and listen to Insomnium.
Goodbye Mortals.
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