I thought before I hit my blog up with some majorly wicked stuff that's been going down, (also, I'm trying to complete the 82798632 different posts I've lined up in my drafts folder), I'd just tell you champs how it is to live alone.
Pictures speak louder than typed shit.
Waking up to NO ONE in the morning
There are a select few things that tend to happen to you when you decide to live alone.
1. It isn't new for me to talk to myself. I do it quite often much to the horror and amusement of those being witness to my eccentricity. Even this morning, I was so engrossed with what I was listening to, I manage to get onto the wrong train. TWICE. I bolted straight out saying rather loudly, " You absolute fart, what is wrong with you?" only to realize a split second later that I had actually said that out loud. With earphones plugged in. On full volume. My point here is the 'talk-to-self' factor becomes more prominent.
2. Suddenly, your entire apartment becomes a stage on which you are a self-proclaimed rockSTAH. Hangers become guitars, spring onions become drumsticks, trash cans the drums, and a leave-in hair serum your mic.
3. Learning the art of balance when throw out kitchen tissues serve as plates because you're just a wee bit lazy to remove plates from the cupboard, put food on it, eat off of it, put it in the sink, wash it and then dry it. Even math seems simple near that monotonous process.
4. Getting quite used to the idea of liberation you forget to wear 50% of your clothing.
5. It's never a complete induction into your new home until you piss off your neighbours. Which I have now successfully down on two counts, one of loud music and one of weird, scratchy, noises. I'm sure the old douche thinks I'm some part of cult of sorts.
6. You forget that you possess legs because you don't have to keep getting up for everything unless you need to use the dunny. For which I must confess, I have dragged my arse to, a couple of times for lack of being bothered to get up.
7. Air freshener and olives become a luxury when you start paying your own rent.
8. That moment when you flick your keys out of your bag to open YOUR OWN MAILBOX.
9. You always save the little sugar and ketchup sachets left over from Starbucks and Hungry Jacks.
10. You discover that you can be quite the soprano/death metal/rapper, a talent constantly encouraged by your bathtub and shower.
11. You always end up sleeping with half of you on the floor and the other half on the mattress, in a completely different direction from what you started out with when you fall asleep. Although not entirely new to me, the only difference now is that I don't get stomped on if I end up on the floor and I'm not woken by the sounds of slobber and the parentals discussing supposedly intellectual things. (heh, I know I'm an arse. )
12. You start speaking your own language. Total personalization I call it.
13. Commenting on every single little thing because it's all about you and your opinion bebeh.
14. Laughing like a hyena on crack and not giving a shit. Again, something that isn't new to me but has indefinitely increased my abilities of acting like a maniac.
15. Your laptop and candy bars become a part of your bed.
Independence homies. U can't touch dis.
Pictures speak louder than typed shit.
Waking up to NO ONE in the morning
GETTING HOME FROM WORK:
And that's just me getting warmed up.
This is something I've wanted to do since I was a teenager waiting to create havoc if I didn't get my way. Nah, I was actually a doll. Or was I? Jokes apart, I wanted to live alone to test myself. To see whether I could handle all of the responsibility and shizz that comes along with being on your own. But along with responsibility, comes a reasonable amount of insanity. Which isn't a new thing for me.
You know how in the movies, people leave their house with no pants on? yes. Yes, I did. Something I haven't 'fessed up to the family yet, but I'll just wait for them to read it here or I will not hear the end of it. Lucky for me I was wearing shorts and manage to realize just in time. Not like it would be a bad thing though, my legs are under the desk for the most part. Besides, they're shiny. A gem to the world.
1. It isn't new for me to talk to myself. I do it quite often much to the horror and amusement of those being witness to my eccentricity. Even this morning, I was so engrossed with what I was listening to, I manage to get onto the wrong train. TWICE. I bolted straight out saying rather loudly, " You absolute fart, what is wrong with you?" only to realize a split second later that I had actually said that out loud. With earphones plugged in. On full volume. My point here is the 'talk-to-self' factor becomes more prominent.
2. Suddenly, your entire apartment becomes a stage on which you are a self-proclaimed rockSTAH. Hangers become guitars, spring onions become drumsticks, trash cans the drums, and a leave-in hair serum your mic.
3. Learning the art of balance when throw out kitchen tissues serve as plates because you're just a wee bit lazy to remove plates from the cupboard, put food on it, eat off of it, put it in the sink, wash it and then dry it. Even math seems simple near that monotonous process.
4. Getting quite used to the idea of liberation you forget to wear 50% of your clothing.
5. It's never a complete induction into your new home until you piss off your neighbours. Which I have now successfully down on two counts, one of loud music and one of weird, scratchy, noises. I'm sure the old douche thinks I'm some part of cult of sorts.
6. You forget that you possess legs because you don't have to keep getting up for everything unless you need to use the dunny. For which I must confess, I have dragged my arse to, a couple of times for lack of being bothered to get up.
7. Air freshener and olives become a luxury when you start paying your own rent.
8. That moment when you flick your keys out of your bag to open YOUR OWN MAILBOX.
9. You always save the little sugar and ketchup sachets left over from Starbucks and Hungry Jacks.
10. You discover that you can be quite the soprano/death metal/rapper, a talent constantly encouraged by your bathtub and shower.
11. You always end up sleeping with half of you on the floor and the other half on the mattress, in a completely different direction from what you started out with when you fall asleep. Although not entirely new to me, the only difference now is that I don't get stomped on if I end up on the floor and I'm not woken by the sounds of slobber and the parentals discussing supposedly intellectual things. (heh, I know I'm an arse. )
12. You start speaking your own language. Total personalization I call it.
13. Commenting on every single little thing because it's all about you and your opinion bebeh.
14. Laughing like a hyena on crack and not giving a shit. Again, something that isn't new to me but has indefinitely increased my abilities of acting like a maniac.
15. Your laptop and candy bars become a part of your bed.
Independence homies. U can't touch dis.
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