I wore fluorescent green ballet flats today, blasted Meshuggah and played NationStates while supposedly on duty. To most people, I come under the category of 'downright weird'. But hey! I was governing and running my own country and attempting to make a reduction in the 30% income tax I supposedly impose on my population. What can I say, I'm a political nerd of sorts. I guess international relations kind of grew on me.  But then again, I've never been what society and my peers would call 'normal'. Ever since I was messing around with water cans and using them as shoes, flicking people's stuff ( hey, I see a shiny thing, I want it ), eating butter and bars of chocolate like I have no idea what the words "excessive calories" meant, I've never been part of what you would call the 'in crowd'. In fact, I've never been a part of any darned crowd. As with most things, I started doubting the extent of my humanity when I was a midget of a teenager, wondering why most of the girls in my class thought I was a stuck up snob or whether it was okai that I always walked around in black band tees and football jerseys and not brightly coloured outfits. I never really watched what I ate because I love my food, and if I know something tastes good, I go all out. People would call me 'fatty' even if I had the ability to hide perfectly behind a slender tree trunk. Or I'd get a " oh my god you eat SO much", to which I'd reply, "yes I like to pamper my tummy" or " sod off morsel". If you eat too much, you're a hog, if you eat too little you're showing off because you're trying to be the new Tyra Banks or Heidi Klum.
You know what? Normalcy doesn't exist. And you know why? Because everyone is different. I'd say there are normal situations yes. People? No. I'm DEFINITELY not what you would refer to as 'normal'.

I've always been different, the outcast, but in a nice way. I get along with pretty much anyone if I decide to, but it takes me a long long time to connect with someone, especially when it comes to trusting people. I like strong, black coffee without sugar and I can eat 95% Dark Chocolate. I practised Kalari Payattu ( wiki it ) for almost two years, being one of the top students and the only girl in class. I played football for two years with an all guys club. I've never been to college, I dropped out of school, I just turned vegan and I'm a hardcore metalhead that believes not only in the power of music but in the sheer awesomeness of Metal. I don't like when people lie, attention seek or just act like a bunch of crazed, high-on-Ihavenocommonsense, Idontcareaboutanythingbutmyselfbecausethatsjusthowitis, hooligans that walk around like they own every inch of Earth and like they have chopsticks shoved up somewhere unpleasant. I can be perverted which many people see as awkward and improper for a girl.

But that's just how I am. I live my life with no regrets, I live it one hour at a time, learning something new from each hour. Remember my post on stereotypes? I've been stereotyped my whole life. And it amazes me the conclusions people come to from seeing you just for a couple of hours/days, making them sound like expert psychologists. Which is quite hilarious for me sometimes, considering I'm the one who studied psychology. My life is weirdly awesome. Sometimes I stun myself at just how weird and abnormal I can be. And I absolutely love it. I have no fear of standing out, have people point out at "that girl with the million button badges on her bag, the abundant number of piercings, long hair and oversized tee shirts". In fact, I love it! I think it's important to stand out. To make yourself known to everyone. And by that I don't mean you strut around in minimalistic amounts of clothes or grow an excessive amount of facial hair, but know who you are. Know what makes you who you are, because a lot of the time, we tend to forget those little details. I've learnt so much over the years, and if it's one thing, it's that most people, and by most I mean 99.999999982678963 % of the mass population are always trying to be someone else or like someone they're not even remotely like. We're always trying to look like our favourite celebrity, change our names to something famous and fancy, wear outfits that end up in sexual atrocities instead of  the actual end result of attraction, we do inappropriate things just to be a part of the 'in-crowd'. Smoking, drinking, going absolutel;y bonkers at a party and then waking up the next day saying, " I was so smashed I have no idea what happened last night". Seriously? Is that what it's all come down to? We try so hard to have fun that we're forced to 'forget because of fun'.

This may sound like I'm boasting but hey! My blog. I've never followed a crowd. Ever. I've always done my own thing, said things just the way I felt it in my head, and never let anyone else's opinion run my life. At times, I have felt a little down in the dumps ( or sometimes the bottom of a garbage can on the sea bed ) because of what people have said to me or about me. My judgement of other people would always be beyond precise but how I judged myself, would just be unfair and crude. And that's where I started growing up. I started realizing that if I want to even remotely survive in what we call "civilization" I'm going to have to start giving importance to something that was actually really important in my life: ME. After a point, I got tired of the comments, accommodating people, the constant concerns for my eccentricity. And thus began my " I don't give the butt of a baboon's uncle what you think" attitude. It's worked for me so far! I just go after what I want. I don't listen unless my instinct tells me to sit my arse down and pay attention.

It's always important to acknowledge how different you are from the rest of the world. We live in a pretty damn big world. Comparison doesn't help. EVER. There's always going to be someone better than you, prettier, higher IQ, more popular, swimming-in-gold richer than you, and maybe just nicer and close to perfect than you. But the thing that we don't see more often than not is that all those people? Are not you. And they never will be. They don't have what you have, they don't think what you think and they don't know you like you know yourself. And as long as we all come to terms with that, we're good.


Now if you excuse me, I must remove Coco from under my sleeve because now I look like I've just been at war with all the scratch marks. Speaking of the squirrel, keep checking because we'll be introducing a new part to my blog very soon =)  Hint: A bunch of moving photos.


Yes, a Video you bubbleheads.

Hee. Prat Lowve. Stay heavy ;)

Anthrax - I'm Alive.