Holaa mis amores

Hello! I haven't been the most frequent of writers. What can I say, I'm all adult now what with a job and everything else that comes along with being one. Such as the Government driving me to the point of insanity with all of their stupid document requirments. I'm alive and standing right in front of you goddamit. Isn't that enough? Clearly not.

It feels so good to be back home. I'm caramel coloured and I call Australia home? Say what? Well it is. It's funny when people ask where I'm from because that is the one question I will still always look like a lost llama when answering. My complexion, my accent and my ancestry don't really help much either.Funnily enough someone thought I was Persian the other day. I was standing in line waiting for my strong black coffee because that's precisely what you need when you work no matter how kickassedly chilled out the job is, (reason to drink strong black coffee), and a guy standing next to me, spotted my Gojira tee shirt and asked if I was a fan. I couldn't resist, I said " No I just love whales". Which is the truth.  I do love myself one of them killer whales.

After my little moment of amusement, he went on to ask whether I was Persian. I wanted to ask 'what aspect of me looks Persian', but I figured that wasn't a very safe question to ask a good-looking guy trying to find out the 'deets' about yours truly. Yes I do have my moments of ingenuity. And of course, the spontaneous prick in me couldn't resist giving a twisted answer, and I replied to the poor unsuspecting sod that he was completely off and that I was in fact half- Irish and half- Greek. That look. I will never forget it. EVER. It took every friggin cell in my body not to burst out laughing on the floor right there and I tend to lose it quite quickly and loudly too. I did tell you about the time my friend left me on the floor at the supermarket dying of laughter.
This isn't the first time my appearance has deceived the eyes of many into believing that I am everything but an Indian. Along with my 'Orange Juice' tattoo on my forehead I should probably get one on my back with an arrow pointing downwards saying 'dat ass iz indyan'. At the airport once, one of the guards started babbling off in Arabic to me and I'm just standing there in all my pierced, black glory thinking 'weirdmiddleeasternguard SAY WHAAAA? '  I've even got Malaysian, Pakistani and Italian.

As for my accent. Well yes, it may be weird to people who don't know me and who have never heard my charming nightingale voice before. Given that people sometimes find it hard to define what exactly my accent is, I love messing around with them. I love speaking in different accents. It's fun and rather fascinating. Especially the Irish accent. I am a hardcore sucker for a pure Irish accent. Yum.

Once, I was meeting someone for the first time, thought he was pretty cute and my loopy self couldn't resist the opportunity. I conversed in a variety of accents, sufficiently making myself look like a retard but hey, thazz wad I do babay. My mission was a success when I get a text a few hours later saying, 'Is that how you really talk? What accent do you have? ". Funny boy.

It's a pity you can't put stuff like this on a resume. Would've aced mine ages ago if it was possible.

I've found myself in a sort-of routine now so you shall definitely be seeing a bombardment of posts on a daily basis. So much is happening in the world, in my little world and what better way than to share that with a bunch of people I have no idea exist hey? 

The Prat. Is back. Boom.

The Conjuring

 

There has been so much hype about this movie and given that I am a horror movie junkie, I had to check it out EY ESS EY PEE. I was with a couple of friends on holiday at the Gold Coast, and we were bumming around figuring out what to do that night. Then it hit me, that watching a horror movie that late in the theaters is something I've never actually got a chance to do. My friends were pretty keen too and I managed to convince them enough.

Director James Wan, who happens to be Aussie  (yay), has quite a few good horror movies to his credit such as the infamous and epic Saw, Insidious which is another one I really like, and Dead Silence which is on my to-watch list. What's different this time however, is that Wan chose to base his movie on a real life incident. For those of you who haven't watched the movie yet, the film is based on real life events that took place in 1971, Rhode Island. That's probably the first thing that caught my attention. Like I said, this movie was hyped to a large extent and still is, and normally I don't listen/watch anything that is hyped until much later. It's just a habit but it works. I'm a sucker for anything supernatural, scary, paranormal. It's a whole other world and one that much to the ignorance of many, does in fact exist.

Set in 1971, the movie definitely emits that 70's feel with the way it's been shot. Roger and Carrolyn Perron along with their family of five daughters and a dog move to a 'new (rather old) house' for a change in their lives. Within a few hours of their moving in, the most absurd and creepy things start taking place. And by creepy, I really do mean creepy. The kind of creepy that makes you crouch on your seat and pretend you're invisible. Little do they know that the change is not one they had in mind, given that the house is infested with raging spirits determined to ensure the entire family has a lobotomy at some point. Wan has successfully created quite a masterpiece and this time it's based on something that really happened.

What I loved about The Conjuring was definitely the authenticity of it all.  When you think 'horror movie' this one fulfills everything that you connect to something scary. Ron Livingston, Lili Palmer and the five girls are some of the best actors I've seen. Lili as the protective and later possessed mother does an absolutely stunning job when the spirit takes over her body. Unlike a lot of the horror movies I've watched, this one kept me interested throughout and I'd credit that mainly to the sheer awesomeness of the actors. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, playing the respected and religious Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren definitely convince you of everything that's happening in the movie is in fact highly possible in the real world. I'd say that again about the movie in general. Although a lot of movies claim to be based on a true story or event, The Conjuring has a lot to it's credit to ensure you that it is based on real life events. Urban legends can suck it.


The music during the entire length of the movie as well as the few sound effects were perfect. Subtle, well-placed, eerie and not too pervasive, it has just the right amount of musical touch for a horror movie. It's creepy enough to make you twist and squirm in your seat. Although this movie is very typical of the horror/thriller genre, fitting perfectly into all stereotypes, clocks stopping, sounds being heard at unusual times, doors slamming, the creepy ugly doll Annabelle, screams and things being smashed around. Another favourite bit of the movie was the little Hide and Seek game the girls played which ultimately led to the discovery of some paranormal being in the haunted house. That was beyond brilliant and added that extra spooky factor to the movie. Director Wan fits in every possible horror movie cliche but still made the whole experience of watching The Conjuring one that was rather realistic.

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of cliches and stereotypes. What can I say, I'm an Aquarian. It made the movie very predictable, I knew exactly what was happening in the next scene. A horror/thriller is not one without a good amount of blood-curdling screams, gore and  the element of surprise but not too much. That was probably my only semi-negative take about this movie; the predictability. Some parts I just found downright hilarious, like when one of the girl's hair starts rising right before she gets dragged and smashed around the house (yes I am slightly twisted in the head like that). I almost fell off my chair in splits, much to the sheer 'DAHELLBRAAH' faces from my fellow movie watchers. My friends thought I was insane. Which I am. But anyway.

The sub-plot of the little girl conversing with the boy ghost through the little musical thingamajig was a pretty neat build up to the actual story of what went down in the house of the Perrons.The professionalism with which the Warrens come to help the frightened and tortured Perron family is pretty awesome without making either family look like they've lost their heads which wasn't the case in those days when, if people so much as mentioned the word 'ghost', they were thrown into a mental asylum or their heads got sliced off.

There were some scenes in the movie which were absolute class, for instance when the mum plays a game of blindfolded hide and seek with her daughter. That hide and seek game man. The shizz.  Also how one of the girls insists subtly that ghost smells like fart when she blames her sister for the sudden release of flatulence.

More than the fright factor in a movie like this, it's the feeling of empathy that really makes the movie what it is. The fear of something brutal happening to the one you care about adds to the thrill and the bond between the Warrens and the Perron family as well as the love both families have for their children is a nice touch . The film has been tweaked a little bit as the house that the Perron family lived in is still said to be haunted and the Warrens were actually told to get off the case. That was probably another minus point for me, not the tweaking but the fact that the movie ended on an abrupt and well, happy note. It was a nice ending no doubt, but just not what I expected.

 

On a very honest note, I personally I did not find the film that scary and like I said it's mainly because I found it to be on the predictable side. It did definitely have it's ohmygodimgoingtodieifidonthidemyface bits' but I've watched scarier and this didn't cut my scale of scary. A previously tormented vengeful spirit, inexplainable going-on in the 'new' house, a freaky doll and the fact that only one person in the family was able to see and hear the ghost. It all fits so perfectly into the horror stereotype and brought down the extent to which this film was supposed to be frightening for me. The climatic exorcism scene was a little over the top for , not that I'm an expert exorcist but I'm sure it doesn't have SUCH an impact.

 


 It's also because I do have this love and fascination for anything that's not human and paranormal /supernatural. I do believe in ghosts and the like because there are parallel worlds to the one we live in. Although the predictability diminished the usual horror factor, it still gave out this intense realism which is important in thrillers such as this. It gave me a good thrill which I love. And The Conjuring is definitely the movie for you if you're looking to get that rush of adrenalin and a reason to scream as much as you want in public. If you haven't already watched it, go check it out now. On the whole, The Conjuring is an extremely well-taken, enjoyable, horror movie if you are in the mood to get a few spine-chills and if not anything else, it'll slowly but surely get you to believe in the Afterlife.

8/10


P.S : If you do get freaked out during the exorcism scene, please mail me so that I can laugh at you.
P.S.2 : I don't get the movie poster. Why would they put the tree with the noose? Not the most significant part of the movie. Trifle of an issue anyway. GO WATCH.

I like this one better. But I do not fancy that doll.