Holaa mis amores

Hello! I haven't been the most frequent of writers. What can I say, I'm all adult now what with a job and everything else that comes along with being one. Such as the Government driving me to the point of insanity with all of their stupid document requirments. I'm alive and standing right in front of you goddamit. Isn't that enough? Clearly not.

It feels so good to be back home. I'm caramel coloured and I call Australia home? Say what? Well it is. It's funny when people ask where I'm from because that is the one question I will still always look like a lost llama when answering. My complexion, my accent and my ancestry don't really help much either.Funnily enough someone thought I was Persian the other day. I was standing in line waiting for my strong black coffee because that's precisely what you need when you work no matter how kickassedly chilled out the job is, (reason to drink strong black coffee), and a guy standing next to me, spotted my Gojira tee shirt and asked if I was a fan. I couldn't resist, I said " No I just love whales". Which is the truth.  I do love myself one of them killer whales.

After my little moment of amusement, he went on to ask whether I was Persian. I wanted to ask 'what aspect of me looks Persian', but I figured that wasn't a very safe question to ask a good-looking guy trying to find out the 'deets' about yours truly. Yes I do have my moments of ingenuity. And of course, the spontaneous prick in me couldn't resist giving a twisted answer, and I replied to the poor unsuspecting sod that he was completely off and that I was in fact half- Irish and half- Greek. That look. I will never forget it. EVER. It took every friggin cell in my body not to burst out laughing on the floor right there and I tend to lose it quite quickly and loudly too. I did tell you about the time my friend left me on the floor at the supermarket dying of laughter.
This isn't the first time my appearance has deceived the eyes of many into believing that I am everything but an Indian. Along with my 'Orange Juice' tattoo on my forehead I should probably get one on my back with an arrow pointing downwards saying 'dat ass iz indyan'. At the airport once, one of the guards started babbling off in Arabic to me and I'm just standing there in all my pierced, black glory thinking 'weirdmiddleeasternguard SAY WHAAAA? '  I've even got Malaysian, Pakistani and Italian.

As for my accent. Well yes, it may be weird to people who don't know me and who have never heard my charming nightingale voice before. Given that people sometimes find it hard to define what exactly my accent is, I love messing around with them. I love speaking in different accents. It's fun and rather fascinating. Especially the Irish accent. I am a hardcore sucker for a pure Irish accent. Yum.

Once, I was meeting someone for the first time, thought he was pretty cute and my loopy self couldn't resist the opportunity. I conversed in a variety of accents, sufficiently making myself look like a retard but hey, thazz wad I do babay. My mission was a success when I get a text a few hours later saying, 'Is that how you really talk? What accent do you have? ". Funny boy.

It's a pity you can't put stuff like this on a resume. Would've aced mine ages ago if it was possible.

I've found myself in a sort-of routine now so you shall definitely be seeing a bombardment of posts on a daily basis. So much is happening in the world, in my little world and what better way than to share that with a bunch of people I have no idea exist hey? 

The Prat. Is back. Boom.

The Conjuring

 

There has been so much hype about this movie and given that I am a horror movie junkie, I had to check it out EY ESS EY PEE. I was with a couple of friends on holiday at the Gold Coast, and we were bumming around figuring out what to do that night. Then it hit me, that watching a horror movie that late in the theaters is something I've never actually got a chance to do. My friends were pretty keen too and I managed to convince them enough.

Director James Wan, who happens to be Aussie  (yay), has quite a few good horror movies to his credit such as the infamous and epic Saw, Insidious which is another one I really like, and Dead Silence which is on my to-watch list. What's different this time however, is that Wan chose to base his movie on a real life incident. For those of you who haven't watched the movie yet, the film is based on real life events that took place in 1971, Rhode Island. That's probably the first thing that caught my attention. Like I said, this movie was hyped to a large extent and still is, and normally I don't listen/watch anything that is hyped until much later. It's just a habit but it works. I'm a sucker for anything supernatural, scary, paranormal. It's a whole other world and one that much to the ignorance of many, does in fact exist.

Set in 1971, the movie definitely emits that 70's feel with the way it's been shot. Roger and Carrolyn Perron along with their family of five daughters and a dog move to a 'new (rather old) house' for a change in their lives. Within a few hours of their moving in, the most absurd and creepy things start taking place. And by creepy, I really do mean creepy. The kind of creepy that makes you crouch on your seat and pretend you're invisible. Little do they know that the change is not one they had in mind, given that the house is infested with raging spirits determined to ensure the entire family has a lobotomy at some point. Wan has successfully created quite a masterpiece and this time it's based on something that really happened.

What I loved about The Conjuring was definitely the authenticity of it all.  When you think 'horror movie' this one fulfills everything that you connect to something scary. Ron Livingston, Lili Palmer and the five girls are some of the best actors I've seen. Lili as the protective and later possessed mother does an absolutely stunning job when the spirit takes over her body. Unlike a lot of the horror movies I've watched, this one kept me interested throughout and I'd credit that mainly to the sheer awesomeness of the actors. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, playing the respected and religious Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren definitely convince you of everything that's happening in the movie is in fact highly possible in the real world. I'd say that again about the movie in general. Although a lot of movies claim to be based on a true story or event, The Conjuring has a lot to it's credit to ensure you that it is based on real life events. Urban legends can suck it.


The music during the entire length of the movie as well as the few sound effects were perfect. Subtle, well-placed, eerie and not too pervasive, it has just the right amount of musical touch for a horror movie. It's creepy enough to make you twist and squirm in your seat. Although this movie is very typical of the horror/thriller genre, fitting perfectly into all stereotypes, clocks stopping, sounds being heard at unusual times, doors slamming, the creepy ugly doll Annabelle, screams and things being smashed around. Another favourite bit of the movie was the little Hide and Seek game the girls played which ultimately led to the discovery of some paranormal being in the haunted house. That was beyond brilliant and added that extra spooky factor to the movie. Director Wan fits in every possible horror movie cliche but still made the whole experience of watching The Conjuring one that was rather realistic.

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of cliches and stereotypes. What can I say, I'm an Aquarian. It made the movie very predictable, I knew exactly what was happening in the next scene. A horror/thriller is not one without a good amount of blood-curdling screams, gore and  the element of surprise but not too much. That was probably my only semi-negative take about this movie; the predictability. Some parts I just found downright hilarious, like when one of the girl's hair starts rising right before she gets dragged and smashed around the house (yes I am slightly twisted in the head like that). I almost fell off my chair in splits, much to the sheer 'DAHELLBRAAH' faces from my fellow movie watchers. My friends thought I was insane. Which I am. But anyway.

The sub-plot of the little girl conversing with the boy ghost through the little musical thingamajig was a pretty neat build up to the actual story of what went down in the house of the Perrons.The professionalism with which the Warrens come to help the frightened and tortured Perron family is pretty awesome without making either family look like they've lost their heads which wasn't the case in those days when, if people so much as mentioned the word 'ghost', they were thrown into a mental asylum or their heads got sliced off.

There were some scenes in the movie which were absolute class, for instance when the mum plays a game of blindfolded hide and seek with her daughter. That hide and seek game man. The shizz.  Also how one of the girls insists subtly that ghost smells like fart when she blames her sister for the sudden release of flatulence.

More than the fright factor in a movie like this, it's the feeling of empathy that really makes the movie what it is. The fear of something brutal happening to the one you care about adds to the thrill and the bond between the Warrens and the Perron family as well as the love both families have for their children is a nice touch . The film has been tweaked a little bit as the house that the Perron family lived in is still said to be haunted and the Warrens were actually told to get off the case. That was probably another minus point for me, not the tweaking but the fact that the movie ended on an abrupt and well, happy note. It was a nice ending no doubt, but just not what I expected.

 

On a very honest note, I personally I did not find the film that scary and like I said it's mainly because I found it to be on the predictable side. It did definitely have it's ohmygodimgoingtodieifidonthidemyface bits' but I've watched scarier and this didn't cut my scale of scary. A previously tormented vengeful spirit, inexplainable going-on in the 'new' house, a freaky doll and the fact that only one person in the family was able to see and hear the ghost. It all fits so perfectly into the horror stereotype and brought down the extent to which this film was supposed to be frightening for me. The climatic exorcism scene was a little over the top for , not that I'm an expert exorcist but I'm sure it doesn't have SUCH an impact.

 


 It's also because I do have this love and fascination for anything that's not human and paranormal /supernatural. I do believe in ghosts and the like because there are parallel worlds to the one we live in. Although the predictability diminished the usual horror factor, it still gave out this intense realism which is important in thrillers such as this. It gave me a good thrill which I love. And The Conjuring is definitely the movie for you if you're looking to get that rush of adrenalin and a reason to scream as much as you want in public. If you haven't already watched it, go check it out now. On the whole, The Conjuring is an extremely well-taken, enjoyable, horror movie if you are in the mood to get a few spine-chills and if not anything else, it'll slowly but surely get you to believe in the Afterlife.

8/10


P.S : If you do get freaked out during the exorcism scene, please mail me so that I can laugh at you.
P.S.2 : I don't get the movie poster. Why would they put the tree with the noose? Not the most significant part of the movie. Trifle of an issue anyway. GO WATCH.

I like this one better. But I do not fancy that doll.

Sam Simon

You know why I respect animal lovers more than other people? They know how to really feel. They think and see through the eyes of the animals. And that isn't something that is common among people. 

This is something I read on the news today that was really touching. I connected so much to it because of all my babies that I've rescued off the streets. Sanka and Bagheera were hardly a week old when Mum and I found them. Without a thought of who, what, when or where, we brought them home. Karma had a rapidly spreading infection which was absolutely shocking for a new born pup. Mocha was bitten and scared. Spock used to hide in a house under construction and rummage for food everyday in the local trash bins. And today? They've taken my bean bag, my food and pretty much the rest of my house. 

Nothing has made me happier. =) 

Sam Simon, the co-creator of one of the greatest TV shows of all time, 'The Simpsons', is terminally ill. You'd think that people, especially the rich kind, with a terminal disease would spend their money doing whatever it is that their heart desires before the die. This man, who earns in millions, is donating his ENTIRE FORTUNE to charity. All of it. He doesn't need to do that. He can have everything he wants. The whole world probably. Yet, he's giving hope to those without a voice.

An avid supporter of animal rights, and having made an abundant number of donations to PETA, this is what Simon says;

“One of the things about animal rights, which is not the only thing that I care about in this world, is that your money can bring success,” he said. “I see results. There is stuff happening, really good stuff, every week. I'm not sure you get that with a lot of disease charities.”

So much respect for you man. I hope the world has more people like you out there.

 God bless you.

Snores, Smores and More

So I'm finally here. Back home. I cannot even begin to describe how it feels. It's only been four days and yet it feels like years! But Sydney always has that effect on a person. At least it does on me. You can see the attachment. I've been sleeping at decent hours except once or twice where I've been my usual owl-ish self and people keep pinging me on whatsapp and are surprised that they do in fact get a reply. Why you may ask? Because I was awake with no jet lag. I've heard these jet lag stories time and again and always wondered, is it real? I've always felt it was more of a psychological scapegoat used by people to catch a few extra zzzz's.

As a result of my travels, I thought it important to share with all you lovely people the importance of certain things while travelling to ensure a safe trip without feeling the need to shoves pringles up peoples noses and pretend like you have Tourettes to use that as a reason to express what you really think of your fellow travelers. I absolutely love travelling, it's what I want to do whenever I have enough loot. I did want to rob an Indian bank before I got here but then the Rupee is dropping value like birds with diarrhea plus I didn't have enough time to plan that out.

RULE # 1:  Ensure you possess an abundant amount of chocolate at all times during travel

Food is life. I live to eat. Therefore it is important that I have. And I don't know why the Gods or any form of divinity can give me decent, edible food while I'm travelling. On my way to Sydney this time, they served me some big yellow lump which I didn't even  try finding out about. I felt better not knowing. Oh not to forget the excessive amounts of leaves because i specified vegetarian food. yup. if it's vegetarian throw in some grass and any leaf because really, that's what satisfies our hungryass bellies. goddamit. The sausages my flight buddy got didn't look any more appetizing. CHOCOLATE. is the way to go. Or smores. anything with an acceptable cocoa content.

RULE # 2: Carry blow-upable cushions with you as an extra seat. 

So, I got stuck next to a fat person. Again. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people with weighty problems, but HOW DO THEY FIND ME. My rather inspiring individual occupied his seat, his arm rest and pretty much half of my seat as well, which left me and my sweet cheeks to hang off rather unfortunately off what was left of my seat. I resorted to using my creativity and imagining a fluffy cush for my tush for three hours. Very hard with gravity's existence.

RULE #3: Make sure you have enough tiny objects to stuff inside your ears because THEY LIED ABOUT COTTON.

Every time man. Every single bloody time. Either I get stuck to noisy rambling babbling little anklebiters that cry because they have no control over their excretory system or I get stuck near people that have no control over their respiratory system. Chennai, India to Bangkok, Thailand. 3 hours. I had the good fortune of sitting near a gentleman that as I mentioned occupied his seat as well as mine and if that wasn't enough of a good start to my new life, he also snored. And by snore, I mean I was surprised the flight even moved due to the inner force within. This man would be a contender for a Tornado IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE. I could even hear him over the the blaring growls of Dimmu Borgir, which I eventually had to turn down because I didn't want to end up deaf on my first day of work.

RULE#4: Always carry a toothbrush in your backpack. You don't want to be scaring off the rest of your travel mates.

Also, I had a 15 minute conversation with an air hostess about teeth and how I have perfect teeth to become an air hostess. Thank goodness she came talked to me after I was done brushing. You never know where cleanliness can get you.

RULE#5:  Carry the bare minimum. Emphasis on the mini. 

I kid you not when I say this. I threw out/gave away 90% of my stuff before moving back here. I basically have 20 pieces of clothing, my hard drives, my phone and laptop, my earrings and rings and my whale. And that's all I own. I cannot even begin to tell you how liberating it is to get rid of all the crap that you don't actually use or need but just keep around because you're a sentimental douche. Take only what you need when you go some place, undies, preferably some clothes and a pogo stick. Hey, you'll save cash on travel! Try and fit everything into one bag like Merlin did.

RULE#6: Loo Roll. Tissue Paper. Anything that's an arse wipe. (pun intended)

Because many public toilets in public places do not believe in the concepts of sanitary or hygiene.

RULE#7: Window seat? Ensure you have a bladder with the capacity of a camel's hump.

I love looking out the window during take off and landing. I also love drinking the constant servings of orange juice and red wine in addition to the 56,000 gallons of water I drink. Therefore I am not entitled to a window seat because life is just unfair sometimes. I wish my belly button actually served some real purpose as a button to switch on and switch off certain goings-on deep within. If you know what I mean.

RULE #8: Airport staff don't normally possess a sense of humour. Therefore bring out the whoopee cushions.

Personally this is something I wanted to try but I still haven't had the chance to. You know when they open your bags to snoop around and find something to trip on you about? Hide said whoopee cushion under something right at the bottom but make sure it's in pressable distance and BAM. or should I say BOOM. faux flatulence = funny = possible smile from an airport human.

RULE#9: Never lose your patience with said airport humans.

They pulled me aside at the airport because I'm an Aussie citizen and started questioning me despite the fact that I had provided all the necessary documents that they want for no reason. They ticked me off so much that I almost came close to telling one of them that if I press one of my piercings I'll set a bomb off. Although I'm quite sure that wouldn't have got me very far.

RULE #10:  Four wheel bags? God-send.

I spent an hour just walking so I could roll my bag around the airport. Plus they don't lag behind like those lame two-wheeler ones.

Imagine Dragons

The moment I heard the name, I knew I'd love the band for better or for worse, till death do us part. I was only aware of the fact that they were an indie rock band. I had never heard any of their music. This was a few months ago. And I was right on time. Imagine Dragons released their debut album, 'Night Visions', in September 2012 and oh my word, it is a musical treat for the ears. I'm sure you've come across the track 'Radioactive', floating around somewhere on a website you visit more than your relatives. If you haven't, you're missing out, because they're a band that just grows on you. As I'm sure is the case with many people oblivious to the existence of this band prior to this pretty awesome album, Imagine Dragons made themselves heard with the radio hit 'Radioactive' and that's when my ears in particular perked up.

Night Visions kicks off with the increasingly famous, bassy 'Radioactive', which features in the Assassin's Creed III trailer. An absolutely stunning song. A beautiful, soft intro, backed by the subtle sounds of pianos with the dramatic inhalation, simple yet thought- provoking lyrics, powerful drum beats and a catchy rhythm that will keep you tapping your feet and fingers till the very end. When I first heard this song I honestly thought it was 'The Killers', Dan Reynolds sounds so insanely similar to Brandon Flowers, and the music has a lot of similarities to that of The Killers as well as the music coming close to that of Coldplay. Definitely my favourite track off this album. Trust me, two listens to this song and you start blaring the chorus, I'M RADIOACTIVE, I'M RADIOACTIVE. 'Tiptoe' is a fun song, melodic synth sounds, a nice groovy rhythmic chorus, definitely gets you shaking your head to the beat. The next track, 'It's Time', is my second favourite track off of this album, if I'm not mistaken has the banjo going on throughout the length of the song. A catchy folk/pop number with yet another undeniably positive feeling that it emanates especially with all the clappy beats. Definitely this albums strong point!

'Demons' is an absolutely beautiful track, one of the more emotional ones with deep and expressive lyrics and proves the strong vocals of Dan Reynolds. The song really gets you a tad bit goosebumpy with the buildup to the chorus.  Following that is another favourite of mine, the easygoing, pop tune, 'On Top of The World', which featured in 'The Croods'. Personally, I love this song. It's fun, upbeat, a completely feel-good song that's bound to get your attention, as is the case with most of the songs in this album. You know the kind of songs to which you just shake your head from side to side and then randomly yell out the chorus? Here's our winner. The background music has a nice reggae sort of flow going along with the clap sounds.

Amsterdam, the next track is a soft one, good pace, strong vocals and lyrics that I found to be very touching and emotional. Actually, all the songs on this album have simple and meaningful lyrics that make a lot of sense when you tune in and listen intently. Hear me is a good track too with the drums setting a good beat but not their best. It's get a tad bit boring although I do like the chorus, which proves the simplicity of Dan's husky voice.

Every Night gives off a nice fresh feeling, soft and slow. Towards the middle of the song, there are these awesome deep priest like hymn sounds which make it really fancy. In other words, it's such a cute song, definitely one I'd sing to the lucky son of a gun that I fall for. Watch out boy!
Bleeding Out, gets the album up and running again after the few slower songs, with those clap sounds returning, dramatic love-song type lyrics, an extremely catchy chorus, another one I really like off of Night Visions. Underdog is a fun, easy listening, sing along song but not the best as it doesn't prove the sheer unique creativity of this band as much as some of the other tracks do.

Nothing Left To Say/ Rocks the last track on the album is pleasant yet strong medley, again with nice lyrics, an atmospheric feel, the organs giving it a nice strong touch, an upbeat rhythm, probably the cherry on top! An enjoyable balance of fast and melodic, the song slows down mid-way, which is a little too long for my liking but eventually picks up speed with Rocks which is yet again a fun track with beautiful vocals making you picture an exotic island inhabited by enthusiastic tribals.

Imagine Dragons, as far as I'm concerned have definitely made an impression in the music world with their unique and unorthodox sounds, you can't really put their music into a specific type. I'm surprised how much I really like this album, which is an interesting mix of indie and pop or if it is in fact an indie-pop album, because you never know these days, put two words together and boom! New genre HOLLER. I think for a young band releasing it's debut album, it's brilliant. Of course, it has it's downsides of being slightly repetitive in some tracks and may get boring at times but do give it a chance. There is definitely something for everyone on Night Visions.

Oh you know what's even better? THEY'RE COMING TO AUSTRALIA!
EXCITE. Check them out!

                                           ME ON THE FLIGHT TO BANGKOK:





HOW I FELT AFTER SAID DRINK:

ON THE FLIGHT FROM BANGKOK TO SYDNEY:

WHEN I GOT MY FREE SPICY RICE CRACKERS AND RED WINE:

AFTER 2 HOURS AND NO TV:

AFTER 4:

WHEN I SPOTTED A CUTE AUSSIE GUY WHO SHARED MY IPOD:

ME FLIRTING:

FINALLY AT KINGSFORD SMITH:

MY REACTION WHEN SOMEONE GOES ON AND ON ABOUT THEMSELVES